Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in aquarianangel's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, April 24th, 2008
8:20 am	Life in List Form Best things: 1. the hot tub jesse just installed (himself!) in the backyard. 2. the used bike from craigslist is nice, especially on the NCR trail 3. the weather has been keeping my spirits up. With my job, waking up when it was dark and coming home when it was dark was making me very melancholy. Now it is nice and sunny almost all the time. 4. I've been playing with a band lately- they are really good. We still have to have that drunken night to decide on a solid new band name since half the people are out of another band, and we have some new people (which warrants a new name)...again, thank you craigslist. I've also been jamming with other musicians- more on original stuff (or at least that is the goal)- which in turn, is inspiring me to write more of my own songs. This is a much needed step. 5. Waiting to hear from grad school is actually better than knowing- i don't often live in such a limbo state, and UofM makes you wait till the last-fucking-minute to know what you are doing with your life, but its still a nice feeling to see a fork in the road, and not know which path you are going to take yet. 6. Cooking with Jesse. I'm always looking into new recipes for bread, baked goods, and sometimes actual recipes for things you have to cook-on-a-stove. He's given me confidence/inspiration to stay in the kitchen. Cooking is quite brilliant- not only is it a necessity, but it is also an art form. 7. I made a conscious decision not to speak to my mother or father anymore. Anybody who knows me and my parents would probably all agree this is an excellent idea. They have been a dark cloud in my life for too long, and it feels better this way. There is already too much negativity in life as it is. Then, unfortunately, got a call from my brother that HE never wants to speak to me again- well, that is only because he is trapped for now under my parents' roof. I hope he gets out of there. But as for me, I'm better not having anything to do with them. 8. I've reconnected with my Dad's-side Aunts and Uncles. Met my 3 cousins. We had a sedar for passover together. It was wonderful. And Jesse learned a HELL of a lot from the children's Haggadah. Now he knows what passover is. hehehe. 9. Yoga, exercise, and a good diet I am convinced have been keeping me healthy. For such a long time, I was always ill (the hauntings of mono, probably)...and now (knock on wood) I have been happy and well. Not-so-good Things: 1. Money for grad school- if I do get in, I will sell my soul to the devil and take out more loans than I can handle. But I'll deal with this when I know I'm in or not. 2. My job. 'Nuff said. 3. My back. It is seriously fucked up from my job (see item #2), and it will take at least 4 more sessions of Bikram Yoga to get it back on track. The whole world needs to diet RIGHT NOW, or start riding a bike, or something. 4. I realize I am going back to school to have a more normal schedule, and not hurt myself on the job anymore. I realize although I am a dork once back in school, going back to school is more for other reasons than sheer academia. I guess everything is going good right now. After working around incredibly sick people, I don't take life for granted. You have to live every moment like its your last. Current Mood: awake (2 Carnivorous Vegetarians | Riot on an Empty Street)
Friday, April 4th, 2008
2:29 pm	Its April? Truly? Maybe it is the fact that I work 12-hr shifts, maybe it is simply the way I look at life, but time seems to be flying by. It is already April, still weather like crap and in the 40's, still sniffing with that infinite cold that never seems to go away... The difference is that I've been working out a lot more (2-3x a week at Bikram Yoga), admitting to myself that I can't stay at my current job too much longer (or I'll lose my brain, mind, and soul in one huge rage where I quit on the spot), and I'm still (yes, still!) waiting to hear from University of Maryland school of nursing about grad school! I really don't know if I can handle working as an RN 36 hrs every two weeks and go full-time to NP school. So many things depend upon so many other things. For instance, it comes down to this: I have to be able to afford rent/car payments/food etc., work less, and get decent loans....and then the question arises: How much loan money will I be able to get? And all this hinges on whether I am in the school or not. Indecisiveness sucks most of the time. Life, besides this limbo, and crappy weather, is splendid. Through Jesse, I've gotten the confidence to get in the kitchen (although he will always be the best chef in the house, hands down). We are also attending an insane amount of live shows in the next few months. (Saul Williams, Spoon, The New Pornographers, Radiohead, Nine Inch Nails)... We have 4 cats. Its a lot, but at the moment, I'm indulging myself into snuggling with all of them, right before a nap. Here's to working the weekend and getting through it with a decent attitude. Hopefully, all my patients will be reasonable, not-too-sick people. One can only hope... Current Mood: rejuvenated (2 Carnivorous Vegetarians | Riot on an Empty Street)
Saturday, March 29th, 2008
1:11 am	Its been a long time... I finally found my password....and re-birthed this LJ. hell yes. (2 Carnivorous Vegetarians | Riot on an Empty Street)
Thursday, July 5th, 2007
9:30 pm	Peritoneal Dialysis Today was a whirlwind of learning and insanity. All I remember is hearing how the peritoneal dialysis on my patient was previously being done wrong, and being trained by the ICU educator today on how to do it By-The-Book. One of my four patients today was pretty ill and didn't have functioning kidneys. Now, when the kidneys give out, you can either do: 1. hemodialysis, in which case, you need a nice port with which to go through, or a fistula...and you need to be stable in vital signs. In hemodialysis, the blood is filtered for wastes. Unfortunately, hemodialysis takes anywhere from 3-5 hours typically, and the machine is the size of half a room. They have not yet constructed a dialysis machine the size of a nano yet....That would be splendid. 2. Peritoneal Dialysis. It is actually an old-skool thing, and pretty weird at that. Think of dialysis as being used to pull all the wastes out of blood when kidneys don't do their job...this in fact, is urine. Ok, so basically, you flush fluids into the peritoneal cavity (abdomen) through a catheter and let it "dwell". This could be for hours and hours. Then you drain out the abdomen. You weigh the diasylate (fluid being infused prior) and the fluid in the drainage container afterwards, expecting to have more than what you started with. For example, Lets say you put 2,100cc INto the P.D. catheter, let it dwell for 3-4 hrs, and then drain the fluid, to find 2,500cc. This puts you in a -400cc balance, meaning you got 400cc of fluid off of this person. And the really insane part is, this person has just "made urine" in their abdominal cavity WITHOUT kidneys, nor a bladder. I find that amazingly risky yet creative. The biggest risk if not done with aseptic technique is if the person aquires peritonitis. Needless to say, with a very hard addiction issue in another room,and 2 other Open heart patients, it was very, very difficult to manage the peritoneal dialysis patient's day... I drank so much caffeine today I still continue to shake even now. I did not sit down for 13 hours, and got a 10-minute lunch. I don't think I've worked this hard since the last time I got a fresh esophagectomy patient. Now, after doing this procedure for one day, I have become one of the reference people for how to do it properly (heh). That is HOW RARE it comes to our floor. I feel like I know .005% more about the nursing profession. I must spend time with my new 3.5 month old kitten named Boris. Current Mood: exhausted (Riot on an Empty Street)
Wednesday, June 27th, 2007
5:42 pm	Vince Is No Longer Here My 11 month old kitten-cat just died of Feline Infectious Peritonitis. FIP is a very mysterious, misunderstood virus that is commonly harbored amidst cats, and to my shock, killed Vince. He was never the healthiest kitten, but he started losing a lot of weight(an entire 5th of his body weight to be precise), became more and more lethargic (which is hard to determine in mildly lazy cats), and was slowly losing balance more and more. I didn't know an inkling about FIP before this all happened. All of the sudden, the vet is drawing blood on Vince, he goes into severe respiratory distress, is put on a bunch of human code drugs and IV steroids and is somewhat stabilized. The vet at first thought it was severe anemia. But expanding Vince's blood with fluids didn't change anything. A day later, I was called about Vince turning slowly yellow. I knew this was now a jaundiced-staged disease which only means liver failure and death. I told the Vet to euthanize Vince at this point and let him go peacefully to sleep for good. It all happened so quickly. I am so upset about the whole thing. Angie, my 9-month-old kitten is faring well physically and has been blood tested. Results don't come back for a day or two. Even if she comes back positive, I can keep her, its just a question of being able to get another cat or not. Personally, getting more than one cat is always risky because you never know what little tiny viruses they each could be harboring. She is calling for Vince all over the apartment, losing her voice from trying for the past 3 days or so to find him. It is so incredibly sad. I work 4 12-hr day shifts in a row starting tomorrow. That in itself is highly depressing. I just came back from a fun trip to Ohio/Port Clinton/Put-In-Bay with Billy and his family. The bad part was that I was feeling terrible the whole time knowing that I just gave the order over the phone mid-trip to euthanize Vince, and I couldn't be with him at that time. The trip still provided a short vacation away from my crazy ass job, and the cat issues. The only two good things lately are that: - the Dean of Nursing at Towson signed my scholarship slip to be sent for money I hope to receive for school....but who knows. - I was elected to be Wound Care Champion of my unit at work, which means I have responsibilities to teach Wound Care implementation to other colleagues at work, and I will serve on the Wound Care committee, which always looks good on things. The truth is, I have to learn a whole lot more to FEEL like a wound care champ. Today during the first WC meeting I've attended, I let physical therapists put this huge anti-lymphadema dressing on my arm to show what it looks/feels like. My heart goes out to those who experience lymphadema after surgeries (especially mastectomies). Sometimes swelling like that of the extremeties never goes AWAY and it can be a chronic problem forever. It is a scary issue. I think I want to take it easy tonight. Have a little dinner-movie date with Billy. Eat at the Ugly Muffin and watch Back to The Future III on the projector in the living room. And pay a lot of attention to lonely Angie. I get Vince's ashes next week some time. If I could hold a funeral for Vince, I would play Sigur Ros' first untitled track off their untitled album. The background music sounds like its made by cats, and has always reminded me of him. Billy's mom was kind enough to buy me a plaque in Ohio that says "Cats leave footprints on your heart". I'll put that right above Vince whenever I get the place for the ashes neat and situated. Current Mood: depressed (2 Carnivorous Vegetarians | Riot on an Empty Street)
Tuesday, June 19th, 2007
9:23 pm	Something That is Ridiculously Difficult... Vince looked severely dehydrated so I brought home a subQ needle and some 10cc syringes of saline. I only got in a few for subcutaneous infusion/SQ injection. I think it only did minor improvement, but there is nothing harder than sticking a cat. And I thought humans were hard..... damn. this is after a 12-hr day of hell. i'm getting scarily used to my job, to the point of having dreams about completing hospital tasks and giving needles and getting patient care done. And then I wake up and it is time to fucking go to work. I can't keep working this much. It will surely be the end of me. Oh my god, I have a gig coming up, and I only know the lyrics to like 10 of the 29 songs i'm playing. Shiiiit. Current Mood: cranky (Riot on an Empty Street)
Wednesday, June 13th, 2007
11:06 am	Lots of Blood n' Poo These past 3 days have been immensely difficult for me. I spent each of them working 12-hr day shifts on my unit. The first day, I encountered one patient who should have been getting more care, but there weren't enough spaces in the more acute unit, so I had to do my best. Second 12-hr shift, the same issue continued, met with a buncha docs, still the patient wasn't the first one on the list to get into critical care. Evening comes, and the patient next to my labile patient starts bleeding (drenched in blood from head to toe) from an operative site, at the same time the first patient is having a hard time breathing. IN THE SAME DAMN ROOM. Needless to say, we got patient #1 to the ICU right before they almost lost consciousness, and patient #2 stopped bleeding for the time being with a ton of pressure being held. It was messed up. I was calling for help on two at once. I've never had that happen before. I stayed till almost 9pm that night. And that's after being in the hospital from 6:30 in the am. My third 12hr shift consisted of lots of poo, pee, and possible infection. Too much poo, in my professional opinion. At one point, 2 of my patients were on isolation for possible infection. (namely, C.difficile, which if positive in culture, spreads in spore form to everybody very easily, and causes unpreventable green liquid diarrhea, etc. etc.) I'm freaking tired. I'm off two days (today and tomorrow) and then I work another 3 12-hr days in a row. uuuuuuugggggggh. Current Mood: exhausted (Riot on an Empty Street)
Sunday, June 10th, 2007
8:19 pm	I Have Officially Gone Mad two cool things: yesterday, Billy set up a projector in the bedroom, and we were watching Harry Potter freaking theatre style. Better than a huge television. It was the shit. and right now, me and billy are side-by-side on multiple pc's: he is trying to fix our internet problems, and I am here typing this. All to the beautiful song, "Fred Jones, part 2" by Ben Folds. That song could make a million year old stone cry. bad decisions on my part: I am burning out fast. I am working 60 hrs this week: 5 twelve-hr shifts. in a damn week. Even the experienced nurses think I'm insane. I think its illegal. But, hey. I'll be able to make 3/4 of the college bill at least. god, if I hear this ben folds song one more time, I am going to cry myself to sleep tonight. Its a song where the chords of piano can rip out coronary arteries. I am bleeding internally from this song. But in a good way. Ben Folds makes you bleed inside; that is true talent. Who knows, maybe I'll figure it out on piano....just to get it out of my head. next week I work 54 hrs? something sick. then 40-something, which is better, but still dangerously close to being insane. I feel accomplished for doing 2 weeks worth of dishes after work today. I didn't have to. I could've passed out, like my body wanted, but no....I stood there, looking at mold-on-sink, wanting to throw up, and cleaned the dishes. Finally. This is what the 12-hr shift does to the human being. Your body feels stripped of energy and life. All chores get pushed to the day you're off. Then when you're off, you feel like a corpse who needs to lay in bed all day. I'm so tired. It is a mere 9:30, and I feel trashed sans alcohol. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, its true, I guess? This sucks: today I had 5 patients most of the day, which is a lot, and one of them was like a totally critical care patient, needing every bit of my attention, making me tired, worn out, worried, and totally negligent to my other patients. God damn it. I wish the hospital understood that I am one person. Its like they think we can clone ourselves already. I want to sleep forever. I am not off again until wednesday, and not even caffeine can save me now. My back hurts, and I'm debating buying a Bengay patch for it. This is why I have to get off the floor with advanced degrees. I will write a million papers, and do a million studies to take the beating of being a staff nurse off my body. Current Mood: apathetic (1 Carnivorous Vegetarian | Riot on an Empty Street)
Thursday, June 7th, 2007
7:51 pm	"Wachovia Will Watch Ova Ya" When I first met Billy, he would speak of sweet Wachovia. "The Greatest Bank on all the Earth," he would deem it. That is when I came up with the motto that is this post's title. Anyhow, I opened up a student checking/savings account at Wachovia today. I already have accounts with M&T, but I hate them. Its like, you get so involved with one bank, it becomes harder and harder to switch. I hate M&T so much, and one day I will switch all my stuff to Wachovia. M&T bastards... Every service you could dream of that is $10 or more at M&T, is either free or mega-cheap at Wachovia. Billy was right- they are a fantastic bank (thus far). It was like a musical when I walked in there. They have a 6-month orientation program for all of their employees to rightfully teach them the triple threats of dance, singing, and theatre. I made 50 friends today at Wachovia, and then some. People followed me out the door to congratulate me on my new account(s)and explained to me their long and loving histories with Wachovia. The banking agent that helped me is like a brother. They don't mess around. I felt like Bjork in the "Its Oh So Quiet" Video. "What's the use, =-=scream=-=BOOOW BOOOWWWWW!!!!! of fallin' in lovvvve...." I may be in somesort of financial cult now, so if I seem weird to anyone next time I see them, please hire a deprogrammer to throw me against walls and talk some sense into my head. (Deprogram Billy, while you're at it). In comparison, when you walk into an M&T bank, you go in with money you worked for very hard, and you leave with a very sore and beaten ass. No one says "hi," they just look at you, and suspect your every move as a federal tax crime. M&T bank rests on the edge of the 10th layer of hell, actually. Hitler lives just beneath that. Now, the only other bank I've liked besides my new love, Wachovia, is Chevy Chase. They helped me when I was down, but, like a mirage in a desert, their locations are few and far between, and they own all of Towson's campus like a bitch. So I decided to get away from linking going to school with going to the bank, in the physical sense at least. On the terms of other financial matters, I feel like I have stripped for the government because I filed my FAFSA. Every other question was about "combat wages" and shit like that, so if you don't do that stuff like me, it seems easy. And I thought about having no assets... its kinda funny. I wanted to put down my life insurance as assets, and then put in parentheses that I'd have to be dead, receive the money, and go to school as a rich zombie. Since we are under the Bush administration federally, I empirically decided not to joke about zombies on my FAFSA. That's basically it today. Me and Billy are letting the cats sleep in our room now to perhaps make them behaviorally calmer and closer to us. Vince needs the extra love. That poor sick baby. Checkin' out Steve's B-day party at Allison's now, before a 12-hr shift tomorrow. Current Mood: energetic (4 Carnivorous Vegetarians | Riot on an Empty Street)
Wednesday, June 6th, 2007
9:54 pm	Flagyl Rock I just signed up for 4 exta 12-hr shifts (mostly on weekends with bonuses)and 3 extra 8 hr shifts in addition to my regular work hours at the hospital. I'm trying to make approx a couple thousand dollars in a month or two that is extra and purely for school. I am le tired. Just from thinking about all these shifts. If I worked an extra 12 hr shift every week, I could put myself through school with NO LOANS, even if I don't get the scholarship. I'm also filing a FAFSA. They are a bitch. Its like, doing taxes that like to look at you financially naked and then judge you. Vince had a positive stool specimen for Giardiasis: a protozoan parasite usually found in foreign region waters. How he got it, I have no clue. I did get Vince when he was 5 months, and he was never totally healthy. Maybe he had it all along and it just got bad... He still is thin as a rail, but I'm giving him Flagyl(metronidazole), an antiameobic/protozoan agent that should kill the Giardia Lamblia that is living in his guts. They look like microscopic roach-fleas under a microscope. Ew. I myself have a doctor appointment tomorrow. I hope that goes well... This is going to be a busy ass summer. Current Mood: anxious (3 Carnivorous Vegetarians | Riot on an Empty Street)
Monday, June 4th, 2007
6:37 pm	Acceptance Today I met with the head Graduate professor for the Masters of Science in Nursing program. She looked at all my materials right in front of me, merely clicked an "accept" button, and told me I have been accepted to Towson University's program. I was like "really? you mean that? really?!" I should receive the paper-of-acceptance soon in the mail, so I can actually believe it. The only thing I'm nervous about is receiving a necessary signature from the Dean, and sending all this stuff off to try and receive Grant money to help me pay for school. I should know more by June 18th. Until then, I shall quiver with uncertainty. Worst case scenario, I have to take out small crappy loans and then do something complicated with my reimbursement benefit at work. They'll pay up to $5000 a year for education (only if I get stellar grades), so they'll end up taking the edge off my interest/loans if it comes to that. I hope it doesn't become so complex. Orietation for school is August 21st! I'm worried about paying. The first thing I'm doing on my next day off is opening a new checking account to pour a couple cents into every now and then for school. This was the good part of the day. The bad part of the day was witnessing Vince looking sickly, and having a bout of bloody/scary diarrhea. I took him to the vet emergency-style. He is 5 lbs. and kind of lethargic. The vet sampled the poo I brought, colon-sampled him (poor Vince), and gave him a subcutaneous infusion to try and rehydrate him. He came back, lookin' all fluid-filled and was pretty freaked out. They also gave him a 24hr super de-wormer, and an antibiotic that makes him foam severely at the mouth. I have to give him the antibiotic for another 14 days. I will be covered in Vince-foam. On the way home from the vet, he peed in his carrier, and it dripped all over me. Me and Billy gave him a stat cat bath at home. Tomorrow, Billy will call for lab results of his poo while I'm at work, and Thursday, I kept a vet appointment in case he needs to be seen. I hope it is something curable. If it is something that needs a $25,000 operation, or some sort of VIRUS, I will be forced to part ways with the cat I love. The vet told me 98% of GI problems in cats are bacteria/parasitic/infection things that are curable. I hope so. I'm going to try and chill out tonight. I work Tues, Wed, and Fri. Last night I watched Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, and tonight, I'm gonna try to watch Harry Potter and just not be stressed. I hope Vince is ok. Current Mood: worried (5 Carnivorous Vegetarians | Riot on an Empty Street)
Sunday, June 3rd, 2007
5:13 pm	Camping in Shenandoah Camping in Shenandoah turned out to be a good idea. All in all, the site was great, the weather was good up until the last day (when we had to pack everything up), and the people were awesome. At first, I feared that our failed attempts at lighting the campfire would prove that we would not have a fire the first night of camping, but luckily, Manda was outgoing enough to get a starter log from other camping folks, and I talked to a ranger about obtaining half-decent firewood (the stuff on the ground was too moist). The people who went: Manda, Me, Billy, Colin, Jesse, Kate, and Mitch This was my first real camping trip, with my only personal gripe being insects/spiders, but that was a tiny negative to an incredibly positive and awesome experience. Billy did all the driving, a lot of lugging things around, and more. I can't thank him enough and his parents for letting us use the van. My lil Yaris would've been ridiculous to take for a 2 night-3 day camping trip. Even for just 2 people, that would be a challenging task. The hike we took on saturday was about 4.5 miles, up and down crevices of the mountains in the deep woods. We saw 3 different waterfalls, and it was breathtaking, both emotionally, and physically. We were pretty exhausted afterwards, which just proves that we must improve our primoridal human physical skills. :-) I feel good, besides all the cleaning up I have to do. But that can wait. First, comes a nap, and enjoying a nice hot shower. Current Mood: content (1 Carnivorous Vegetarian | Riot on an Empty Street)
Monday, May 28th, 2007
1:59 pm	My One Day Off. Today I am off. Then tomorrow and the next day I have 12-hour shifts. Work has been getting harder lately- its like people just keep getting more and more ill. I don't know why. Today, Me, Billy, and Paul had Memorial Day breakfast at the Nautilus. I think Me and Billy are going to attempt a small nacho/marguerita lunch at Holy Frijoles. Just getting out to try and forget that I work tomorrow. Tomorrow, I will be unhappy, but on Wednesday, I won't be giving a shit anymore. That's gonna be my apathetic "throw-hard-patients-on-me-and-I-still-won't-give-a-damn" day because I am off 5 days after that, 3 of which I am using to go camping. Hells yeah. I wanna start my art project today, but I don't know if I wanna stress myself any further. I'm exhausted. I wrote 80% of a new original song today. Called "This Life". Its jazzy, I might forget it by tomorrow, but at least I feel at least 50% accomplished today. Ok, enough percentages. It doesn't even make sense. Current Mood: exhausted (Riot on an Empty Street)
Sunday, May 27th, 2007
9:25 pm	Masters in Nursing Education... Well. I figured, although the pay for a masters prepared nursing educator isn't great, if I complete A master's degree, I'll feel better these days. So I've applied to Towson for the program, and I'm trying to find a school who will sponsor me...meaning I'll work as faculty for whoever pays...for 2 years. Worst case scenario being, it won't pay enough for the workload, and I'll do it part-time and nurse fulltime. What I've learned so far: nothing is easy. I think I'll enjoy teaching more than floor nursing, but who knows? if everything goes to hell, I'll just be that much closer to getting a PhD. If everything goes right, I'll begin school this fall- 3 classes on tuesday...Full time school, and Full time work until Spring 2009. Then teach for 2 yrs, while nursing flex (1 day a week or so) and see what I wanna do next. With a Masters, I can teach at an Associates degree program or a Bachelor degree program, but can only be tenured at an Associates.(which is fine, they produce better nurses anyway!). Or else I HAVE to get a PhD. Which I may. I don't know yet. I may become my own worst nightmare: A Dr. nurse. Not a nurse, not a doctor, but a Nurse with a doctorate. I still don't know how I feel about this. My own motto is "go where the shortage is". I did that for my BSRN, and I'll do that for my masters. I'm too poor to choose my majors. lol. These are my plans outloud. I have nothing to lose. I just hope I get this Scholarship I mentioned earlier. =-=shakin in m'bones=-= YAY to Camping from June 1st- June 3rd! I need to take a trip out of my own head. Current Mood: anxious (Riot on an Empty Street)
Monday, May 21st, 2007
7:18 pm	Meh. Worries: -my next credit card bill -cleaning for Billy's Aunt's visit -catbox. god damn why is it always so problematic? -prepare (yes, even now) for a July gig. Management is pushing me for a CD, and I don't know how long my "BUT I have NURSING TO DO" line will hold them off. -getting better, dammit. -WORK. besides the 12-hr tomorrow, I work a 12 on Sat, a 12 on SUN, have ONLY monday off, and a 12 on TUES and a 12 on WED. please shoot me that week. I don't want to be conscious of living through it. Good things: - I wanna start my "SCRUBS" marathon- I got 2 seasons from Netflix. Netflix is god in mail-rentable-DVD form. - The kitties are alright for once. - Camping at the start of June- after a highly-psychotic back-to-back work week. (I think I should start buying my DEET now. As much as I wanna be a druid and shit, I can't handle spiders, ticks, and long-bodied things. They will never be a beloved part of MY world...I will fully admit I'm an arachniracist.) Other: I don't know what to have for dinner. I'm thinking either brown rice, or oatmeal. something benign. Sometimes, I get into these benign-diet modes, where all I want is something almost without flavor, that I know, for sure, will not make me any more sick than I already feel. Has anyone just gotten sick of all food? Its beyond losing appetite, its like, just being bored by all food combinations that exist...I guess this is all part of feeling like shit. I won't even be remotely happy until my 12-hr shift is over, tomorrow evening. Current Mood: bored (2 Carnivorous Vegetarians | Riot on an Empty Street)
6:51 pm	Not At Work I'm still feeling ill-ish. I work a 12-hr shift tomorrow, and I know it'll do me in. I'll probably get another fever. I've been trying to look up directions to the actual campsite some friends and I will be going on, but all the directions just lead to Shenandoah. Not the actual camp area. So, I'm assuming, we get to Shenandoah, and just keep on driving until we SEE the damn place. Billy is tutoring now, and I've accompanied him to the T.U. library. I just wish I felt better these days. I don't even know what to eat anymore, what to do for exercise, or how to not-overwork myself. Today I read up on the histories of all the conventional holidays and how far from Christianity most of them are, although Christianity has tried to adopt them as their own. Its almost humorous. I like the old version meanings of the holidays much better. Also, I never realized how linked the Ancient Greeks were to the Druids. I knew there were some floating parts of culture between them, but I never realized how often the Greeks wrote of the druids in their philosophical documents. Lastly, I read about the birth of Merlin before he was called Merlin ( I believe his old name was Taleisin, the infamous poetic and musical Welsh bard?). Its a pretty funny story. Anyhow, Neil Gaiman's short stories still haven't captured me, and it'll be due at the library way before I finish reading it. I want to find a spellbinding novel at this point, something that will take me away from "here" for a long while, not a collection of short stories that will leave me with loose ends, wanting more... Any recommendations? Current Mood: anxious (2 Carnivorous Vegetarians | Riot on an Empty Street)
Sunday, May 20th, 2007
12:37 pm	Bisquick Apocalypse For those of you who know about my previous Bisquick accident (read a few posts down...the one with a pic of bisquick), you'll remember my failure at the Shake n' Pour variety. Billy used to ask me, "how can you possibly fuck up Bisquick? You just read the instructions!!". Billy diagnosed my mal-cooking syndrome. I did everything right except for understanding the word 'grease'. I buttered the pan until you could swim in it. Billy told me that 'grease' should be Pam or Crisco...but too late. By the time I was screaming for Billy, the pancake looked like half raw, half burnt dough in the shape of a broke-back omelette. Fuck pancakes. Billy did his number on them, and pulled off some gorgeous Bisquickian pancakes. I apologized for my 2nd Bisquick failure, and made a deal... I'll make dinners if he makes Breakfasts. At this point, I cannot master pancakes. I did a couple of OK pancakes, after the lessons today, but...I think I'll stick to cereal for a while. If anybody can help me overcome my pancake trauma, please let me know. And since I can't master this, Crepes seem like Mount Everest. I could never be French. =-=sob=-= Current Mood: crushed (2 Carnivorous Vegetarians | Riot on an Empty Street)
Saturday, May 19th, 2007
4:44 pm	Eep. I just responded to a gigging cover band who wants a singer. On Craigslist. Eep. I figure, it would be cool to be part of a cover band where all I have to worry about is being a singer, and not just doing all the instrumentation, writing, and booking gigs myself. we'll see if i get a reply. (2 Carnivorous Vegetarians | Riot on an Empty Street)
3:46 pm	Job Interview for the ILL Friday was a 12-hr shift for my sorry ass. I felt really terrible from the moment I woke up until the time I could finally pummel out of work like a dead log on shrooms. I made my way to Patient First, my saviour, and waited for somebody to give me antibiotics I so desperately needed. Instead of seeing a doctor for the first hour and a half, I got a job interview. It kinda went like this: Patient First (PF): "Hi. you're a nurse?" Erica: "Why, yes I am!" PF: "We're opening up a new patient first by Bayview! and there are positions!" Erica: "oh" PF: "HERE, let me bring the charge nurse in, who's going to run the place...she'd like to talk to you!" Erica: "ok?" PF nurse: "Hi! I plan to put all RNs through vigorous training and orientation dah dah dah .. What is you experience? la da da da da Patient first is wonderful critical and urgent care experience for your resume! please join us, apply ASAP!!!!!!" Erica: "uh, when is the doctor gonna be in?" PF nurse: "SIGN ON and apply when you get home, ok? and you're here a lot, you know how we work!" Erica: "I have a headache, I'm dizzy, feverish, very weak, it burns to pee and I need to see the doctor!!!! yo quiero los antibioticos!" It basically went something like that, minus the spanish. Eventually, the doctor came in, and asked me about all the surgeons that I still come in contact with every now and then... Finally, after all the scmoozing, I got the necessary prescription. I have never had the same person who interviews me, look at my pee in the same day. That is fucked up. Its like, they know too much. What ever happened to HIPAA? I guess if I ever am truly searching for a job, I'll fake illness and "accidentally" wear my scrubs to some random place-of-medical-ness. I still feel pretty weak today. My whole body is going under one of those "Mono Rememberance" days. It grieves over the holocaustic toll that Mono has taken on my immune system. I can't even go to Andrew Bird, I'm fairly upset about that. Being feverish like this, I can't lose the sleep I was planning to for the concert. Fuck. I'm gonna nap because it is the only thing I can do right now without being dizzy. Current Mood: sick (3 Carnivorous Vegetarians | Riot on an Empty Street)
Thursday, May 17th, 2007
8:50 pm	Petite Herb Garden So today I sauntered over to Valley View Farms to create a mini porch-laden herb garden. I bought that thingy that goes over the balcony to hold the big rectangular planting pot, the pot itself, and soil. I realize this may be the first time in my life I have outrightly purchased soil. I feel like the town idiot wandering into Valley View because despite what I thought I knew about nature/animals/biology, I am almost entirely ignorant on the care of plants. I had two people laugh in my face for my intentional and serious Simon and Garfunkelian reference to my desired herb garden, consisting of, catnip, oregano, "parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme". Go ahead, laugh at me, you flowerstore worker conformists. I know it sounds cliche to grow those herbs in that order, but I don't fucking care. That's the way I've always dreamed it. And so I went to the balcony, and planted all this stuff, and it looks pretty cool. I just hope they live. I've had some bad experiences with venus fly traps...one of them died one time from eating a paperclip. Its poor head rotted off in front of me over a matter of days, and I was only 8. I thought I sucked at raising plants ever since. I don't want these herbs of mine to head down that dark, dark road. Ok, so it might be 5% of the pagan/druidry books getting to me, or my half-hippie roots. I'm not quite sure. The coolest part is growing fresh catnip. I trimmed off some leaves of the catnip, and handed it spanking fresh to the kitties, and they got real flippin' high. My only regret today is that I did not get to do any artwork, and tomorrow is a nasty, most probably dreadful day of work. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE ANDREW BIRD LIVE AT THE 9:30 CLUB ON SUNDAY! IT WILL BE WORTH LOSING SLEEP FOR WORK ON MONDAY! w00t! Current Mood: pensive (1 Carnivorous Vegetarian | Riot on an Empty Street)